28 May 08

I spent all morning frantically cleaning and tidying as it was possible that Tracy might be calling in before we went to the Tokyo New Mums event in Arisugawa Park. I also had to squeeze in putting the finishing touches to some stuffed cherry tomatoes that I was taking, having stayed up half an hour the night before, hollowing them out. I'm not sure why I decided to make something so fiddly. Luckily Emily was in a cooperative mood and happy for me to buzz around and leave her to amuse herself. Of course, Tracy called later to say that she wouldn't be going after all; oh well, it needed to be done and it was good to have an incentive.

Though it was clouding over it was still very warm out, and by the time I'd walked up the steep hill to the park I was quite sweaty. Arriving at the park, with some trepidation about how I was going to get myself into the circle, I found that I was first there, along with two women who turned out to be the group coordinators. They were very friendly and we set out our picnic mats and chatted. Other mums and babies soon began rolling up, including Lari, the Aussie who we'd met at Yoyogi. People came and went; there were around 20 attending. Most of the other babies were several months older than Emily and I looked on enviously as they rolled and crawled about. The arrangements had been quite ambiguous, and it seemed that nobody else had brought food to share, so after all the effort I didn't even get the tomatoes out! Later on, another Brit came along (the rest were Aussie, American or Asian) and it turned out that she'd arrived in Tokyo about the same time as us, having come from a job at Nissan in Sunderland. Small world. She seemed really nice, and invited us to a coffee morning at hers next week.

27 May 08

Sharon asked us to go for wander around Roppongi Hills in the afternoon. It was scorching so I had to shade-hop on the walk there. The tower and surrounding complex house a host of high-end boutiques and plenty of cafes and restaurants. On the way in there's a pleasant pond and landscaped garden of rocks, trees and shrubs, with lots of water-lilies in bloom.

We visited a couple of baby shops, where I tried to find anything with a price tag that was within our budget. I think Emily can manage without a Dior bottle or Dolce & Gabanna bib. What is the point in spending so much on clothing that they grow out of so quickly, unless you have a few million yen burning a hole in your pocket?

Bypassing the exclusive shops without prices, we did actually find a Zara branch, which I noted for future reference, not being well-funded enough for a spending spree today. I really must get my own bank account set up, as otherwise I need to ask Nick in advance for some money.

We sat by the pond for a while before leaving, and Sharon confessed that she is not very sociable; of course, I told her I wasn't either, but had to make an effort for Emily's sake. I'm glad that she feels I am a suitable companion, especially given the similarity in age between Emily and Taylor. It's a shame that she is going back to work soon.

22 May 08

Emily is 5 months old today! Her most recent trick is to suck her toes.

At least it means she isn't pulling my hair. Instead of trying to talk she spends a lot of time blowing raspberries. No sign yet of her rolling over; in fact she goes over onto her side less frequently than she used to. I was very pleased to find that she has hit 7kg, and is about 68cm long (usefully, there are proper medical scales and measure in the babycare room at Akachan Honpo babystore). That puts her at 50th centile weight and 98th centile height, so even though she's been feeding poorly this month she's still growing fine.

A bit of a weary day today. Emily woke at 4.20 and would not go back to bed after a feed. I always have a nap with her after she's been up for a couple of hours and lately it has been a welcome 80-90 minutes long. Today, when I really needed it, she only managed 35 minutes. I decided to have another doze at her second nap; it took ages to get her down, and just as she succumbed the workmen next door started hammering and sawing. They've been there 10 days relaying the floor, but up until now I've hardly heard a peep out of them. It took another half an hour to get her off again, and that was only 30 minutes nap as well.

All in all, I wasn't in the best frame of mind for my meeting with Momoko. She is a 20-year old Japanese girl with a half-Italian baby boy of 7 months. She posted a message (in pretty good English) on the Tokyo With Kids website saying that she lives in Minato-ku and needed to make some friends. Waiting at the duly-appointed time and place I was somewhat alarmed to see her approach. She's very slim and was kitted out in black hotpants and vest top and bold zebra-print tights with black and gold patent loafers. Quite different apparel to the photo she'd sent previously. I wasn't sure that we'd hit it off, but actually we spent three hours in the park and appearance aside she was very easy to get on with. I'm not sure whether we should see her regularly though, as I was disappointed to find her feeding Michele sweet biscuits and undiluted juice. Those two teeth of his don't stand a chance.

It was such a hot day that I was thankful for the plethora of drinks vending machines. In Japan there is one on every street, even in country towns. Best of all, they are always in good working order and fully-stocked. I hate to think of the energy wastage in keeping the drinks chilled when standing on glaring sunshine all day though.

18 May 08

We'd decided to attend a mass family picnic in Yoyogi Park, organised by La Leche League. Our intention was to be there at 10.30 as it kicked off with an open air yoga session, but we napped with Emily first, and she slept for over an hour and a half. We weren't complaining!


We located the event easily enough in the big park, as there were about 200 people scattered around in groups on their picnic sheets. We were determined to use the picnic to meet other parents, but felt uncomfortable about just tacking onto a party, so pitched up our mat near a few other lone families. After a few minutes I spied Tracy and she joined us with Lottie (James had just left for a business trip to the UK, unfortunately, so yet again he and Nick failed to meet).



After we'd eaten people started coming by and introducing themselves. One lone Aussie woman called Lari latched onto us and set up camp on our rug with her 3 month old Verona. She was quite down to earth and easy to get on with, though like most Aussies she was a bit full-on. She explained that her first child had died and I didn't quite know what to say. Verona was a lot smaller than Lottie, though the same age. The event organiser, also an Aussie though called Iona McNab, told us about a mother and baby group that she runs fornightly that I would like to go to.


As part of the fundraising they were running a silent auction, and I ended up with a 'natural weaning' book (basically, let your child decide when they will stop breastfeeding, even if they are 10!) and a gaily-coloured Guatemalan Maya sling. These are really popular in Japan, and look like a great way to carry even quite large toddlers, butI fear that I may have left it a bit late to start Emily on it. She's pretty adaptable though, so hope we can get to grips with using it.

17 May 08

On the way to the station, Nick spotted a great new eatery that we should take our visitors to:


Maybe someone should do them a favour and have a quiet word....?

We were on our way around Tokyo Bay to Ikea. The train there goes across a very long bridge which affords great views of the open water and ships going in and out of port. Even though I got seasick last time we took a ferry, I had a strange hankering to get afloat and take a trip somewhere. The massive store is in a very bleak industrial area of warehouses and silos, though that doesn't deter the hordes from trekking out of the city to pick up some cheap flatpack furniture. Us too, of course, though it was a last resort because we hadn't been able to find a suitable bookcase anywhere else.

Later, I went out to dinner with the embassy girls. I felt extremely nervous, especially as Emily has been refusing her late bottle, which Nick would have to give her. However, I was certainly looking forward to an evening off cooking, and perhaps a glass or two of vino. Sharon had booked the four of us a table at a place called Roy's which offers 'Hawaiian fusion' food (Hawaii is big here). It's on the fifth floor of elite shopping mecca Roppongi Hills Tower, and our table had good views across to a lit-up Tokyo Tower. Sharon and Tracy had just arrived before me, and Phillipa turned up as we were sitting down. I was happy to go with the suggestion of a champagne cocktail, and chose a kir royal. If I could only have a couple of drinks then they may as well be damn good ones.

The first hour of the meal was taken up with baby talk, naturally. My starter was an attractive pile of cubes of raw tuna with ginger - not what I'd expected, but it melted in the mouth and while I wouldn't say I loved it, it was manageable. It was inevitable that at some point they would talk shop, but I didn't really mind. Anyway, it was all very convivial, and I enjoyed myself, so my worries that I would feel left out or inferior were unfounded. I should have known, because they've been nothing but welcoming up to now.

We were all done by 10.30, and Tracy and I decided to call it a night, though the other two were going to go on somewhere for a dance. I took the short taxi ride back again (thankfully the taxi driver found it without difficulty, mainly because I'd taken a written note of the address to show him) and arrived just as Nick was changing Emily preparatory to feeding her. Of course, as soon as she saw me there was no way she was going to go straight to a bottle. Who knows if she would have had it if I hadn't been there - I doubt it, myself. So even though I'd had two glasses of wine I had to give her a bit of a feed. I felt really guilty, but relieved that I had allowed for the eventuality and not had any more than that.

16 May 08

Another fine day, so we went to meet Nick at lunchtime. Afterwards I walked over to Shiba Koen park. Outside Tokyo Tower there was a beautiful rose trellis about 300 yards long. Such a lovely assortment of shades, all of them bursting with heady scent. It was very incongruous against the backdrop of the gaudy red steel girders.

At the park there was a bit of a dog-owners love-in going on, with about 10 pooches and their owners all fussing over their pets, and feeding them titbits. They are incredibly spoilt; definitely child-substitutes.

15 May 08

At last we have some blue sky again. After three days of staying at home (apart from food shopping once) I was raring to get out, somewhere, anywhere. I decided to pay a return visit to the National Park for Nature Studies and see what the intervening month had brought.

All the other visitors seemed to be pensioners. Though the pavements were thronging with mothers and babies enjoying the sunshine, there were none in the park, perhaps because the trail is a bit rough for buggies and there are steps in places. Still, it's possible to go round most of the paths, though no doubt it reduced the life of the stroller somewhat. Hope it lasts until Emily is walking.

It was pleasant down by the lakes, and there was a party of old people painting watercolours there. Among the reed beds there were some purple and yellow irises.

Quite a few turtles were treading water in the sun, and there were some pretty large carp prowling about, maybe picking off the water boatmen scooting across the surface.

12 May 08

The weather has turned quite cool, after the muggy heat of last week. Perhaps it's the influence of the typhoon that is moving north-east of Japan.

The price of some foods is totally exorbitant. I got a bag of risotto rice today for £9. I know that the worldwide price of rice is on the rise, but still. And guess what I managed to spill all over the floor when I was making the world's most expensive risotto? Nick will have to reign in his Marmite addiction, with the smallest jar being £4, and I may find it hard to keep regular, with dried prunes and apricots at a fiver a bag. On the other hand, I got a fillet of sea bass large enough for two for less than £2.50. Cheap as chips - actually, cheaper, because potatoes work out around 30p each. Oh, and if I wanted to, I could get frozen frog! We could always eat cheaply on fish, rice, tofu, seaweed and eggs and live to 110.

On the route to the supermarket there is a little house with a glass case on the wall outside. It has some little dolls inside and about once a month the display changes. Last month they were all wearing face masks, presumably to reflect the cedar pollen season. Now they are wearing samurai headresses; maybe a reference to Children's Day, when boys display miniature samurai outfits.

8 May 08

We were woken at 1.10am by a lot of creaking, and doors rattling. The quake went on for about five minutes. Just when we'd settled back down and dropped off again there was another of equal size, though it only lasted about a minute. Emily thankfully wasn't disturbed by either. We found out later that there was a series of magnitude 6+ earthquakes about 100 miles north east, off the coast.

6 May 08

Again, Emily managed to sleep until dawn. It was a superb day: azure skies and a breeze. Our train back wasn't until 2, so we packed up our things then walked down to the beach.

As on the previous days, it had been virtually taken over by surfers, with camper vans and jeeps on every verge. There must have been at least two hundred of them riding the waves, and it made it quite hard for a non-surfer to find a safe place to bathe. Maybe that's why there weren't any swimmers - until Nick went in, that is. Or maybe it was because the wind by the waters edge was actually very cool; it was enough to put me off going in, with the prospect of getting out and being covered in goosebumps. Mind you, I wasn't keen to go in anyway, with my postnatal flabby, pale body and only an unflattering maternity swimsuit to wear.

Emily didn't seem to appreciate being on the beach much, and the wind was blowing sand all over her, so we had to pick her up. She has such pale colouring, and it was a battle to keep her covered all over - Nick's Arsenal towel was quite useful for that.

It was soon time to go back to the guesthouse to collect our things. After the packed bus ride the day before we'd decided to err on the side of caution and book a cab. As ever, the driver wore white gloves, and the car seats were draped in the ubiquitous lace. Imagine that at home!

We were pleasantly surprised to find that our train back was a 'Super View' type, as you normally have to pay more for these. They have great big picture windows and spacious airline-style reclining seats. As before, we were on the wrong side of the carriage, and made a mental note to ask for seats on the ocean side of the train in future. Coming back through Yokohama, we caught a faint glimpse of Mount Fuji, sun glinting on its snowy slopes.

5 May 08

Childrens Day here in Japan, with gaily-coloured carp banners flying everywhere.

Emily was a little treasure and slept until 4.30am; woken, no doubt, by the chirruping of a bird in the tree outside the window (and the fact that the room was completely light thanks to the flimsy curtains). We noticed that she was holding her hands together for the first time. Come naptime, we managed to persuade her to go back down on the mattress just in time for breakfast, and she obligingly slept until we had just finished eating. While we ate, I was a bit worried as there was a giant hornet buzzing around outside and it seemed very close to the window I'd left open upstairs. They really are huge - much larger than those at home.

It was tempting to go to the nearby beach, but we decided to take the owners advice and do a little coast walk at Suzaki he'd suggested. This involved taking a bus into Shimoda and then another to the start of the walk. The first bus was absolutely crammed with passengers - dangerously so, I thought, hanging onto the strap as we slewed around corners. Given the small breakfast portions, we were glad to have a bit of a wait for the next bus and topped up with cake and a sandwich (mashed pumpkin - nicer than it sounds!) in town.

The route is 2.6km long and follows the cliffs and bays of the peninsula. It was a sticky, humid day, and where the path was among trees there were quite a few insects, so I wasn't convinced that I'd enjoy it, but after a while we broke out into the open and it was really pleasant. All along the way there was a variety of trees, shrubs and wild flowers, fragrant jasmine being particularly abundant. In Japan wisteria grows wild, and you see the light purple strands of flowers high up in the tree canopy.

We hardly saw a soul for two hours and appreciated the peace and tranquillity. There were a few butterflies among the vetch and smock blossom, and also lots of hairy caterpillars about. We had our picnic at a viewpoint from where we could see south to endless shapely hills completely clothed in trees, marching down to the sea. At the end of the walk we came across a rocky promontory that was seething with creepy cockroaches and landcrabs.

We'd timed our arrival at the return bus stop quite well, particularly as it began spotting with rain. Back in Shimoda we found another cafe and treated ourselves to yet more cake before taking a fourth bus back to Shirahama.

Again, Emily did us proud and went off to sleep on schedule. We dined in our yukata, as we were planning on a bath later (we'd booked the communal bath for later in the evening). I felt a bit odd going down to dinner in just a robe, but another couple did too, and it is quite customary to do so here, apparently. We were given another free glass of home-made liqueur, this time made with a local citrus fruit, natsu-mikan. I was horrified to discover that we were being 'treated' to half a crayfish each, served in its shell. I couldn't bear to scrape the flesh out with its beady eye on me, so I only managed to eat two mouthfuls, all the while feeling nauseous. I just can't reconcile myself to eating something with eight long, hairy legs, and as for the brain...yuck. Nick was a bit disappointed in me, but I couldn't continue, even to please him.

We spent another couple of hours in pleasant conversation, before heading downstairs. As with all baths in Japan, we had to shower thoroughly first, as the same bathwater is used by successive bathers. It was at just about the right temperature: hot but not scalding. All the same, I had to get out after only ten minutes. A shame, as we don't get the chance to bath together any more. At 10, we went back to the room and woke our little cherub.

4 May 08

With much trepidation, I prepared for our trip to Shimoda. Emily had not been feeding well for a day or two, so I was pretty stressed about that, and I was also concerned about how she would sleep for the two nights away. So all in all, with my usual optimism I was expecting a disaster, with Nick and me returning frazzled and bleary-eyed.

The train trip took about two and a half hours, the latter half of the journey hugging the scenic coast. Typically our seats were not on the side with a view, but luckily the people opposite got off before us, so we could shift across and look out at the ocean. I enjoy train travel here: I tried to imagine the conductors in the UK wearing white gloves and bowing as they left each carriage! The buffet trolley was about the same though - a meagre selection, and overpriced.

At Shimoda we took a bus for the short ride about three miles to Shirahama, where we were staying at Pension Sakuraya. It was quite awkward getting the buggy and various bags aboard, but we eschewed paying for a taxi and went backpacker-style. From the bus stop it was a five minute walk up a 1-in-3 hill to the guesthouse. We had to wait ages to check in as a group of women got there first. One was an obnoxious American who proclaimed loudly that she'd rather eat natto than drink miso soup (very hard to believe as natto is fermented soya beans and reeks, while miso is pretty bland). Our room was western-style - ie. beds rather than futons on the floor - with a pre-formed ensuite unit that you'd struggle to swing a mouse in. It was really windy and the building shook with the strong gusts.

Emily hadn't slept all day, apart from a brief nap on the train, so we weren't sure how she'd behave. It was already past her usual bedtime so I gave her a cursory bath and feed then put her down (literally, as she was lying on a mattress on the floor between our twin beds). We switched on the monitor and sneaked out, convinced that we'd be right back, especially as the curtains were so thin and pale that the room was still very light whereas she is used to a darkened room.

The dining room was down about four flights of stairs, with great views across the wooded valley. Though the portions were a bit small for my appetite, the home-cooked meal was excellent, especially the locally-caught kinmedai (red-scaled fish a bit like bream). We were given a free glass of home-made plum liqueur (umeshu), which was delicious. The owner seemed happy to take time to chat, and had quite good English. He was very interested in the fact that there are different words for some things in American, and I explained using pants/trousers as an example.

It was only 7pm by the time we finished eating, so we had hours to kill before we could go back to the room. As there was no lounge, we stayed at the table; the other few diners soon left and we had the place to ourselves. It was really unusual for us to have so much time to ourselves, and we rather enjoyed chatting for a couple of hours. It was almost like being back at the start of our relationship again. When we are at home there is always some chore to do after dinner and we rarely even sit down on the sofa together. Eventually it was time to go back up and wake Emily, who hadn't stirred for four hours, bless her.

3 May 08

I can't express how depressing it is to be 41 today. I still feel like drinking more beer than is good for me and moshing at gigs, but feel resigned to being sensible. I know I could still do that stuff, but can't bear the idea of the pitying looks of those around me.

However it's more to do with becoming a mother, I suppose. There are rewards though...

2 May 08

Another lunch invite: this time at Tracy's. We would have convened in a park again but the weather had turned cloudy, though it was extremely warm and therefore muggy.

The journey there involved two changes of train, and initially I'd thought I would walk quite a way, so that I only had to take the familiar Yamanote line. However, I was determined to make some progress in learning how to use the transport system, so I decided that it was about time to take a deep breath and get on with it. The first transition went fine. At Yoyogi Uehara, I asked a member of platform staff which train I should get, as I could see that there were some express services that wouldn't stop at all stations. As directed, I boarded the second train, only to see my destination station flash past a minute later. Grrr. At the next stop I had to carry the buggy up and over to the opposite platform, leaving me drenched in sweat.

As suspected, Tracy and James' pad was very plush. It seems that embassy staff are allowed accommodation of the same size that they had at home. In Tokyo that gets you something rather nice. Can't imagine why they want to move back onto the embassy compound as it was a lovely neighbourhood - very quiet and no high-rises.

I was first to arrive, followed soon after by Bettina, Steve and baby Tim and later by Sam and Mario (who I hadn't met before) with their 6-week old boy Ami. It was a shame that Nick wasn't there to make a full set of fathers. Everyone had brought a contribution to lunch and we all tucked in, punctuated by breaking off to feed our babies as and when required. Lottie was as bonny as ever, apparently weighing the same as Emily now despite being 8 weeks younger. Our little chicky entertained everyone with her antics, lifting up her dress can-can style and gurgling a fair bit. They all proclaimed her smile to be lovely.

The sky was very overcast as we left, and I thought I heard the odd rumble of thunder. I was adventurous again for the return trip, taking another new route back. It isn't really all that hard, only difficult when manoeuvering the pram up and down. Though it is not permitted, I have had to become a bit of a rule-breaker and use escalators where a lift is not available. What else do they expect you to do? I am capable of carrying the pram with Emily inside, but don't see why I should.