Emily woke at 4.45. Eventually I gave up trying to settle her and took her to bed with me. She was about to drop off at last when Nick's alarm went off at 5.40. After he went she did calm down and I managed to doze on and off until 7.45, but I felt terrible when I got up.
It was a very hot morning but I felt I ought to leave the sanctuary of the aircon behind and take Emily out. We went to the local playground but the sun was really strong and I was worried about her burning even with cream and a hat. We moved on to a second small playground behind the supermarket, which was shadier but had a higher mozzie count, then shopped and dashed home.
Emily picked at her lunch, perhapos becasue she was now very tired after her early stirring. I got her down in bed and ate mine, then showered and went off to bed myself. I woke after an hour and a half but felt so bad I wondered if I should have, a rare headache nagging at my temples.
Skip Kids seemed the last place to go with a bad head, but after a while I felt a lot better, despite the squeals of a handful of excitable kids. Emily was really lively and beaming her best grin a lot. I had a good chat with Jo and Bettina, which eventually turned to the usual subject on my mind these days. The discussion continued later over dinner, when Nick came home early (8pm!). I am really 50/50 on having another child, and we concluded that we will never be absolutely sure either way. But that is exactly the way we felt before we had Emily! I used to worry about material issues such as the stability of Nick's job and the size of our apartment, but my main concern has changed now: what if I had twins, or there was an abnormality? Entirely possible as the incidence of both increases with maternal age. And of course the idea of two children with no family around as support is scary too. So where does that leave us...?
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